Can’t Live With Them, Can’t Block Em
We all have people in our lives that we don’t want in our lives, but that we have to have in our lives. These are individuals that for one reason or another, while we need to allow them to contact us but at the same time, we’d like to be able to control when they contact us. So while blocking someone completely is so very satisfying, it is not feasible in these situations. Plus, oftentimes blocking someone that has an iPhone makes it subtly clear that they are blocked by no longer showing that a Message has been delivered – again, it’s satisfying to do, but in many cases, it’s not best.
Maybe they are a coworker or boss that’s a little too friendly, intruding on your personal time, but you still need to be able to communicate with them at the office or on a work trip. Maybe they are someone from a social club or organization that you’re a part of that you need to stay on good terms with, but also need a break from time to time. And maybe they are a family member or even a co-parent, that can be a massive stress on your life that you know you can’t block for important reasons, but that they truly don’t need 24/7 ability to wreck your day with a cruel text.
A Godsend Called Focus
Whatever your situation or reason is, if you are using an iPhone or iPad, I have a solution for you, and it’s called Focus.
A Focus is a way to selectively silence notifications from specific (or all) apps or people. Maybe you’ve used it before with a Focuses called Do Not Disturb, Sleep, or Driving. These are the basic built-in Focuses (also I just looked it up and apparently Foci is the proper plural form of Focus, but Focuses is also accepted and is cooler sounding to say) that iOS (the operating system for the iPhone) encourages people to use. The problem with these Focuses is that they aim to silence everything and everyone. While that is nice for those specific instances, what we want to do is to specifically target certain individuals. We’re not trying to quiet the world, we’re just trying to make our world more peaceful.
But Wait, There’s More!
As an added bonus, what I’m about to share with you will not only silence those individuals in regards to notifications when they message you, it will also hide their message thread completely in your Messages app. Note – this will not work if they are a Pinned thread in Message (you know, the modern day Top Friends from the Myspace days).
If that’s something that would be useful to you, or perhaps someone you know, read on. The great thing is that this process is not only quick to set up, but once set up, its stupid simple to deploy and utilize.
Steps to Peace
The following has been tested on iOS 15, 16, 17, and the new iOS 18. Needless to say, this will cover any and all iPhones and iPads since 2021.
1. Open Settings.
2. Select Focus.
3. Select the + in the top right-hand corner.
4. Select Custom.
5. Type a Name for your Focus, and a Symbol to represent it.
6. Select Customize Focus.
7. Select Choose People.
8. Select Silence Notifications, then Select Add People and navigate to/select the person you’d like to silence.
If you stopped there, this Focus would completely silence all notifications and calls from this person. But we want to go one step further and not only silence them, but hide them from our view.
9. Slide down the screen a bit and select Add Filter.
10. Select Messages.
11. Toggle on Filter by People List.
12. Exit/Return to Home Screen.
13. Swipe down from the top right-hand corner of the screen to display Control Center (the screen with all of the quick toggles on it).
14. Select Focus (though don’t click on the icon on the Focus button).
15. Select the Focus represented by the Name and Symbol you selected in step 5
That’s it! At the top of your screen, you’ll see a little version of the Symbol selected to remind you that you have the Focus on, and hopefully to remind you that you took some great steps to reclaim a bit of peace in your world.
Couple of Quick Notes
- If you ever want to turn the Focus off, just swipe down from the top right-hand corner of the screen, select Focus, and un-select the Focus.
- If you don’t necessarily want to turn the Focus off completely but want to do a quick check in to see if they’ve messaged you, open Messages, and then select “Turn Off” at the top of the Messages screen next to Filtered by Focus. This will cause that individual’s (who is still silenced) message thread to reappear until you toggle it the Filtered by Focus back on.
Final Thought
Maybe you don’t have anyone in your life deserving of their very own Focus, but I bet you know someone who does. Please share this with whomever you know who could need it, and also feel free to DM me on Instagram at @nickk if this has helped you.